Management of Unexpected Happens In Your Private Life

How Can You Handle With The Unexpected Occurs

Enchantée… How are you?

How hard is your life or how hard is not? This is life; it is how it is… And now, you can say that you can take your own way as staying at the game, can’t you? That’s fine…

Today, let’s have a look at the occurs which happen suddenly and unexpected; so, it leaves you about screwed-up. But you can handle it not to look fool or panic; contrary as taking the appreciations and elegant.

Suddenly happens and unexpected! What can it be?

When you are at the appointment is 60 km far from the city; you’ve been called by the school to let you know that your child has injured; it’s good in the hospital… anyway you must take the control and be near it, emergency.

While you are getting ready to go out; your relatives’re knocking at the door!

You have planned to have some snacks for the evening, so you may have made whole the day is yours… rrriiing! Your husband says that he has invited the parents in law for dinner.

You are so chic, driving the car… A cat comes to the street, too exhausted and even it hasn’t noticed your car! (You wouldn’t drive over, ofcourse!!!)

Friends tell you about some kind of privacy… because they know that you don’t spread the talks to the third person. But… They have already shared your secret; and you hear your secret from anyone… :)

Your husband has organized the surprise party. But it is surprise… I mean, you come home in the trainers, sweating from jogging… And the neighbours, friends, relatives have shouted ‘’Surpriiiiiiise!’’. By the way, on your living room wall, it’s written with big fonts as ‘’happy birthday your 33rd!!!’’ (A friend of mine lived that.)

How shall you behave?

Keep Calm.

First of all, keep calm. Think the situation easy.

Answer these questions:

Describe the problem.

What is the problem, exactly and how is it’s emergency? You have described the problem. So, is it a life matter? Or someone can’t handle the things without your support.
Are you really the subject to solve the problem? I mean, does the solution depend on you; or, someone try not to take the responsible and give the jobs on your back?

Describe your own situation, just on that time.

If the solution depends on you; describe your situation to yourself.

How is your situation?

Are you in the kitchen and the hands in the flour; in the operating room, the hands inside of a stomach; at the manicure, at the office meeting; at teaching your class; in the dressing cabin…?

How far are you from the central of the problem?

''I’m coming to 10 minutes… I need 1-2 hours to arrive… The problem is just over here, and looking at me.''

Time Management

The most important ability is to manage the time.

You can do many things and reach many places at the same time as managing the time by the right way.

Now, you will also solve your unexpected problem.

If you are far away the solution point; start to solve it on the way.

Analyze what the problem is, your current location, the measure between you and the solution point.

Just on the way, think what you will do.

If you're going to your child has injured; learn exactly, where your child is. It will prevent you loose time. After you interest your child, you can plan to figure the responsibles and the reasons of the accident out.

Guess the market on your way for your unexpected guests. If you don’t know, you can figure it out from the internet. Think two cold, two cooked foods, an easy salad and a dessert to buy on the way. Make a list in your mind to buy from the market? Do you have enough money with you, or credit card? Or would you call your husband and make him bought your shopping-list. Then, you can start to prepare at home while he’s shopping. Yes, you have already got a farewell for tonight would be only yours… But it is for tonight. The family is the point.

Couldn’t your friend keep your secret? Smile gently, and behave that’s so regular matter and you have already told it anyone and laughed… Or, if it was a bit tragedy (like suspecting your husband’s loyalty); then, say that this story was a trap for your friend (who spread your secret)… because actually, you have seen his husband with someone… but you have hesitated to say that sort of thing and you wanted to know if she knew anything about her husband… Because you are a very good friend and she would have a shock. Be sure that your friend will agree with you about the rumour lady has been cheated. Unfortunately, the people love the rumours. And now, you’ll naturally think twice before sharing your secret. ;)

You’ve just come home to run for a shower… and, you’ve faced by a ‘’surprise party’’… Plus, the writing on your wall! Smile! Big big smile!!! How could you do anymore? Smile with a laugh and thank to everyone. Then say to stop here and not to go anywhere… Then run to the bathroom. You have 5 minute to look nice. You can do that… You can’t hair-dry; it’s alright! The less is more, you know. Ahh! The writing on the wall: Your age 33. How you wish to be, your age it is… A woman is ageless. The genlemen know that. But the gentlemen are the product of the elegant women. Patient and determination… Girls, go on! Well, what we were saying… Yes, you can talk about your wall with your husband in the morning, specially. He will always remember this conversation, if he loves you… But, not tonight. Your husband has thought you, tried to make you happy. So, have fun! Be happy and make happy at the rest of the night… Seriousness may be in the morning…;)

While you are trying to arrive at a party; a cat’s stopped on your way and doesn’t leave. You have opened the window and pleased to help for the kitty. As if they pretend to send it away, they have hesitated to harm their chicness and grace??? Then they quit the cat to live it’s fate. (How big looser they are! They say that the cat can die in a car-crash to save their pretended chicness!!! ) You can’t behave this way. This is not chicness but the inhumanity and the rudeness.

Stop your car on the way, and as all the curious stares are on you, send gently the kitty ayaw the road even on your attracted stilettos… If you have the custom to carry the cat meal in your car, you may conveniens the kitty, easier! And go back your car so chich and admirable, no-care to no one…

When you do it confidently, you are very special and elegant. And no one can take it from you. You are amazing!

P.S. 1: I have lived that and i behaved completely as i’ve told you. Accept my best, dears…

P.S.2: The clumsiness and rudeness will show you clumsy and rude whatever you wear on you. You have lost the elegancy and never catch. Only the people can’t use their mind and the people can’t decide which way they behave is better, are clumsy and rude. You can’t be that.

In Conclusion;

How forceable, urgent and even upset the occurs are...

You can keep calm and talk easy.

You can plan step by step by using your mind.

You can keep your compassion to all the creatures in the world and focuse on the matters to solve and positive. (Except the rumour-spreaders and the rudes… they may not deserve your compassion… it depends on you.);)

To fuss; to shout to the people, running everywhere out of control, try to add people are not about the occur, to force people to do somethings, to be negative, to disturb, to cry to the children and husband, complaining at all loudly, etc make a woman rude and far away the femininity. Even the people who wants to help, run.

The best is you to be elegant.

Your inside, soul, talk, treatments… when angry, fun, scared… allow elegant.

The silence, intelligence and compassion make you a reasonable grace, elegant woman.

Please remember:

These words are from a woman to you, who knows that you can always be much better than you are and believes you…

The compassion and love find a place inside of you… And the unexpected occurs you have faced are nice surprises and happy news…

I wish you have the joyous days.

il han il – han

The Next Article:

Now, i would have a look at your posture.

How can you keep the balance between the training exercises, diets and your privace life doing all at the same time. Beside dressing, colour and decollate choises, the things you have to carry with you… Write to you soon…

New People New Meetings New Talks ( Friends and Getting Closer )

Hello Dears!
After a short break, it’s very nice to meet with you, again…

I have re-organized my collectives to support you; not only concretable or technical; but even in mental!

Aaaand the conclusion…! :)

If you have been practising in your life what you’ve read in this blog; you must have got some steps on your way.

I guess that you have enjoyed to notice on yourself how you and your life have been changing and evolving because of your journey to be the woman is more attractive, purposing and takes her way elegant.

You have been talking to the people who can support you on your way at the elegant meetings as caring attention on you by your attitude, elegant manners, nice words you choose and self-confidence.

The Meetings with New Friends :

What about can you talk …?

You are with ‘’the people’’ in ‘’the meetings’’.

Some of these people are not only the supporter and also closer to you in mental and emotional!

You have started to talk and laugh together; having the common sense of humour and the places to visit, regularly…
That’s great!

But please remember:

These so cute guys are still ‘’friends’’; not the ‘’best friends’’…yet.

They will be but you need time… Let them take their time, too.

Do not spill all your secrets out, emergency! :)

You can see if a person is a friend or closer from 6 months and more.

Of course you can meet with them, at all. But you must evaluate how you get closer to each other…

Listen … No Judge … Get Closer …

In the restaurant…

having a nice talk, laughs, foods and drinks and all are enjoying…

One of you has started to share a memory by the familiar night, drink and just because of the night, may be because of you…

Listen. Don’t judge.

Listen genuine, caring your attention, by your heart, focusing on understanding.

If it’s a nice memory you can share the joy. If it’s sad, consolate with a few words without exaggerating.

Behave common… Show no mercy, no judge, no generalizing.

No one expect to face by these kind of effects by the friends; so do you! The pals and the closer people don’t say as ‘’Oooo! This is nothing, dear! I see many as you are, hohhohhoo. Come on, cheeers!’’…!

Even, when the family can sometimes say ‘’Oh, daughter! We wished that you wouldn’t do…’’, The one even don’t think to say as ‘’I wished…’’ so, that's closer.

Listen elegant, take a sip, smile nice… get closer...

You already know every one in the world has both of sorrow and happiness inside. Life goes on. Because this is life.

Take your time… Be patient…

Of coourse you will also share your sorrow lives with you, with your wonderful new people, soon. Take your time...

They don’t know you, well, yet; neither do you…

If they are not ready to understand you; you can loose those cute people because of your impatience. Easy…

Of course you can’t talk too common. It is boring. And it doesn’t tell how your pesonality is, actually.

So you can talk about your job, shortly…

talk a bit about your potential projects; only a few small and funny stories about your family skills… talk about your interests, the places you’ve been and liked…

and see if you have any common with your new friends and talk about…

be cheerful and heartily.

Don’t complain of your husband and don’t do gossip of your bussiness frends, don’t do jokes which make only you’ve laughed! :)

The people don’t know you, well; they can’t understand that you are not complaining actually, but you are asking their advices.

You can wait, a little.

About Politics…

It’s not good to be the first, who talks about politics.

And if you need to talk about politics, don’t be sharp on your opinions.

It shows you masculine. You can be close to femininity and warm.

Generally, be positive about people, family, neighbours…

Don’t be fore-judge.

The people and also you like to be near the free-minds. You feel free and comfortable with them. Then you can be more lovable…

Because, our mind works by matching the emotions with the notions.
You can become what kind of descriptions you give your mind.

For example:

If you say that your neighbour is rude; then you have described the rudeness to your mind and you have prepared yourself for rudeness.
And Now, You Become Rude while talking to your neighbour!

You can be used your mind to match with warm and peaceful notions. Who knows Dears, this sort of thinking can also match you with another unexpected happy coincidences! ;)

What you have in your mind; that’s you are.

So please describe the positive notions to your mind. It also makes you healthier in mental and body conditional.

Keep yourself away ‘’over-reacting’’ and ‘’letting the emotions drive you’’

Being realistic always saves.

The emotions drive you out of your way. Beside, the big emotions can cause the people to hesitate from you. Because your new people can’t guess how you react.

So you can behave by thinking and take your choises by your mind, intellectually.

In Conclusion…

As i have told you my other articles, no one can disguise to elegant for a while. You can be elegant or you can’t.
Being heartily good makes you nicer and polite which are very important conditions being elegant, as you’ve already known.

Empathise with all the creatures in the world.

When you face to a matter perceive that how you can fix it.

I wish you allow the favority and charity to match in your mind.

It will make you more beautiful and elegant…

be happy and joyful…

ilhan hande

the next article:

I have noticed that, when some kind of peculiarities and some unexpected happennings, you can feel strong to decide how you behave you keep your elegance; but how you behave you can’t. I will give you some clues which can make your job easier . Our key words will be: ‘’compassion’’, ‘’intelligence’’, ‘’graceness’’.

A New Way A New Method To Improve Yourself and To Learn Fast OBLIGATE YOURSELF & FORCE YOURSELF

Capability, Positive Motivation, Easy-Strong Affair

I have often told you that:’’You can do it; not strong! Not a big deal! Go ahead!...’’

Because of i know that we have a personality in nature is very strong, resistable, no-giving-up as being woman.

And sometimes, I also say that to support you motivate to have the good and elegant specialities.

And i will keep saying that, of course! I know the positive motivation will make you get power and self-confidence…

When you know the people except you also believe in you can do… you absolutely do!
YOU CAN DO!

But…

But today, I will add somethings to my usual saying…

Today, ‘’It’s easy, not difficult, care attention a bit then you do it…’’ is not what i’ll say!
Please, tell me girls: ‘’Why would you underrate your capability and strength!!!???

Once you have used to live some wrongs as considering rights.

Now you have been changing them objectively to good for you, rights for you.

You’ve cared for the family, children, job, mortgage, relations…

So, you’ve forgotten to love your own, to care of your own.

Now, you have a very important and hard to do decision which is to take back what you’ve missed.

You need to work hard and to try not to give up! 

In life, there is no succes which is got not to try indeed.

But… And…

You can do that.

Because the things are beautiful and valuable are got hard.

And to get the hard one is the point and enjoyable!

In this article, i will tell you a new method to learn fast while improving yourself:

‘‘Obligate Yourself and Force Yourself’’… means that you take the strong way instead of you choose a shortcut.

(Even you have a chance to have a shortcut, you’ll take the hard one.)

At my first article*, i have told you to write your obligations and then determine the things you think which are obligations but not in fact. Then change them.

(*see ‘’Improve Yourself To Change Your Life’’)

Today, i am telling you to have obligations.

Don’t leave any exit for yourself, except to learn and to develope.

Be volunteer for the positions which you will get ashamed if you can’t be succeed.

Then, eliminate the possibility of getting ashamed off your position.

Naturally you can do that as disciplining yourself and bounding yourself by the time and subject goals a.s.a.p..

For Example:

Example 1.

Your Time is 3 months.

Your Subject is NOT ‘’to learn Italian’’. Bound it:

Your subject is ‘’to learn Italian for hosting your banker Italian guests at the office’’.

See!

You have already bounded your subjects you have to learn.

You have to learn a smaller part, now. ;)

Example 2.

Your husband’s Austrian partner will visit you.

Getting a friendly contact to him and his wife would be good for your husband’s career.

The German language you will learn doesn’t need professionality or complicated.

It will contain a friendly supper chat!

Example 3.

Or the meal you’ll learn to cook will not be the ‘’Fusion Delies at the world cuisines’’.

It is the fusion with your native cuisine and the German cuisine mixture’’.

The cuisines you’ll study are two, now. You can do that easy.

So, you have also been entering to the world fusion delies by the simple way.
Have fun!

Example 4.

Your subject is NOT the ‘’cinema’’, but the ‘’Roman Polanski Movies’’. Your learning time is ... days.

Example 5.

Your subject is NOT the post modern perceptions at the architecture.

You don’t need to search the architectural literature by the archives with hundreds examples…

Your subject is ‘’the post modern traces at the holiday houses of 1980-1990.

We have made narrower your researching area.

Now, you can give your attention and see a few archived architecture magazines in photos and read a few articles…

A very genuine example 

Your subject is not to loose 15 pounds you have… But to loose 5 pounds in three months!
You are minimizing your effort and stress by 1 in a 3.

And your rate to become succesful goes up 3 times. ;)

Do you want to learn a language? Volunteer to host your office guests from abroad.
In advance study the words and the sentences you will need while taking them to somewhere and chatting about your job, the meals and a few monumental places in your city, i recommend. Then enjoy!

Do you visit an other country? Be friend with the natives.

When it is asked ‘’who can do that?’’… Say ‘’I do that good’’.

And be good as bounding your area.

Obligate yourself and force yourself to do what you want to learn.

This method which i often apply for, is good to learn fast.

A huge goal may frighten; even may seems impossible.

When you part your process, your things to do will be easier and you can also add your goal make a part of your life, fluently.

Each one of steps, each one of parts you’ve completed makes you closer to your target.

Over all, you do all happy!

I have discovered that way, when i was a student.

Almost all the deals have started by this way, which i’ve suceed.

I still keep to apply this way.

So i also wanted to share my experienced method with you.

To obligate yourself and force yourself is one of the the most tentful and the most exciting learning ways.

Beside, it will be a start of the big steps will take you ahead.

- Describe your aim.

- See your way in your mind.

- Make it parts.

- And obligate yourself to complete each one of your parts.

At your beginner experiences, take a less risky subjects.

(Like diet, hosting dinner guests… not the job.)

In time, when you observe your succes on your own, how you can be succeed, you can spread this method at whole in your life to obligate and force yourself while learning, absolutely learning. 

Now, I can say once more…

Actually, it is a very easy way in learning; obligate yourself…and also very exciting!

Save the enthusiasm and excitement inside of you. I wish you have the joyous days…

ilhan Hande